Sarcastic Student Review: Chobits

[Scoot]

Sarcastic Summary:

Top-secret experimental robots belong in piles of trash, and when Hideki decides he needs one its only a matter of time before he stumbles across an attractive yet submissive young robot girl named Chii. And so begin their many exciting adventures in Hideki's apartment. Washing dishes. Making food. Getting a job. Saying "Chii". Alot.

Sarcastic Review:

I praise the writer of Chobits for his forethought. A plot involving cute robots and university-entrance-exam dropouts could have - quite literally - gone anywhere, and it is only by reigning the explosive action into a small drab apartment that we are able to truly appreciate the pure depth of emotion conveyed by the characters.

The interaction between such diverse characters as the miserable apartment manager, the miserable small boy with his miserable robot harem, and Hideki's miserable friend is impressively handled. I was pleased when the cast was transported to a seemingly contrived beach location, so that we could see the inner turmoil of the male lead as he is repeatedly thrown into comedic situations involving the female characters' breasts for ourselves.

The artists have used a daring palette of grey, and sometimes brown to capture the true mind-numbing monotony of Hideki's apartment, where most of the action takes place. Occasionally we are transported into the intriguingly depressing, and very blue world of a children's book, where use of colour and tone are taken to entirely new levels.

Characters are lovingly drawn. With pens. By minimising the amount of character motion, the animators are able to put the maximum effort into each frame - sometimes stretching one over several seconds, and ensuring none are wasted. There are some fantastic side characters too, and by making them fleetingly more interesting than the main cast, the director is able to hint at hidden depth, without actually revealing any. Genius.

[Dark Lord]

Best review ever!!! Delivered in such a way that aims to entertain and confuse the readers at the same time... True genius...

[L-sama]

Even sarcastically, your reviews are works of art, Scoot. Abstract art, but art nontheless. Great Job! :)

[AlterGenesis-X]

Hmm...burn? :D

[General Suburbia]

The worst thing about your review is that you stated that it was sarcastic. I would have liked it much better for people to figure it out themselves, or else occasionally make fools out of themselves by taking it as a literal review.

[aoi_n_asul]

beautiful, scoot-kun. it packed a lot of punch ^^

[Scoot]

I would love it if anyone else would like to write a sarcastic review - you could do one for an anime you love, written as if you hate it - its much more fun than writing a normal "proper" review!

[aeroshadow]

Here's one sarcastic review I remember reading and definitely enjoying.

At first glance, this anime seems to be one of the most infantile shows in existence. However, upon second glance, the utter brilliance of the show should shine. Pokemon has a substance, a hidden charm that makes it stand notches above anime such as Rurouni Kenshin, Cowboy Bebop, and even Berserk.

Pokemon’s biggest strength is its multi-layered and complex story-line. I had to watch the anime twice to get the real meaning of the story…it’s one of those anime that if you just don’t GET, you just won’t like. It’s in a class of its own. There are many thought-provoking elements: positivism, imperialism, and even Social Darwinism. It’s actually one of the deepest plots I’ve ever seen: I mean you have to search far and wide. You have to train across the land. You gotta catch em all. Why? Man…you just gotta.

The characters, Ash, Misty, Brock, Jesse and James (Team Rocket) are colorful, deep, and highly three-dimensional. Viewers can’t help but root for Ash, (representative of Alexander the Great himself), as he struggles in his great and purposeful sojourn, hoping he’ll be able to dominate the world with his symbols of oppression, the Pocket Monsters. As the great hero strives, how can we not love him? Misty is a great character, as she dares the dangers with her comrade, you must admire the way she remains strong, never complaining. Then there’s Brock, the priestly young fellow who is never tempted by the evils of seduction and the temptations of beautiful women. Lechery and debauchery are just not his style; how can you not admire his will power? And Jesse and James light up the screen with their intelligence, geniuses that always demonstrate their power by thinking up clever tricks to overcome their enemies, and they succeed every time…all while reciting a speech that oozes with acumen. The greatest orators of the time could learn a thing or two from them.

And we certainly can`t forget Pikachu, symbol of not only the Merlianic Disease, but of freedom, independence, and iron-willed strength. I particularly liked the episode when he fell in love with a bottle of ketchup. It shows that even a tough and stringent being can have strong feelings for another. But alas, the ketchup bottle cracked, and Pikachu loses his lover. As tears filled his eyes (and mine), I came to recognize it as the greatest and most intense death scene... EVER. His loss of his flavorful companion is not the only thing that makes Pikachu such a poignant character. In fact, Pikachu is almost a tragic figure, being that he only has one word in his vocabulary, he could never communicate with his friends, so we the viewers must bear his pain and his silence. And the way he refuses to remain in a ball, a shell, is one of the most powerful aspects of the anime.

The series’ biggest flaw is that it is a bit too allegoric and intelligent. It was hard for me to keep up, but I think I understood most of it. I haven`t quite picked up on the religious imagery, though. I must watch it a third time to make sure.

All in all, I highly recommend this to those that enjoy deep and innovative series like Digimon. However, if you like brainless and below average anime like Boogiepop Phantom, FLCL, and Haibane Renmei, I recommend staying away. It’s just not for you.

- Animation
The animation is top-notch. Beautiful and fluid, especially the high-profile and exciting battles between the Pocket Monsters. There`s a lot of bright colors, and I also love the character designs.

- Sound
The opening theme is very haunting. The violin and piano tunes in the series are lovely. Great BGM, probably one of the best OST in anime. Unfortunately, I`ve only watched this dubbed, so I cannot comment on Japanese voice acting. Pikachu`s voice is adorable, and it never gets annoying. James has a sensual voice that gives chills up the spine, and Ash sounds just like the little boy he is.

- Character
The characters are well developed. They`re definitely not the same by the end of the series. Jesse and James are the best characters as they are the most intelligent. Especially James, he`s very sophisticated and romantic. But Ash`s determination is certainly a close second. Very Powerful characters in this one, and each villain in the series has depth and is memorable.

- Value
It`s one of my favorites and it`s a very popular series. It was released in a limited edition box that sold out nearly immediately. I will watch it again...and again...and again.

[kyubichan]

Props to sarcastics reviewers. Pokemon and Chobits belong to my list of love/hate anime.

[Dark Lord]

Sarcasm really adds a nice touch to a review, doesn't it? It makes a review a whole lot more entertaining! Rather than explain all that technical stuff, why not do just that with a bit of sarcasm it adds a whole lot of flavour to a review...

Its not to be used as a serious review though... What a pity...

[Sae]

I would love it if anyone else would like to write a sarcastic review - you could do one for an anime you love, written as if you hate it - its much more fun than writing a normal "proper" review!

I would be obliged to!!! Yet one thing about your review bugs the heck outta me. There is no rating. :sweatdrop

Sae-chan

[Blue Audio]

Yeah, too bad he's mine.

Chobits is from CLAMP, a dyke factory for anime. Nix the his, unless that was intentional.

[Scoot]

Yeah, too bad he's mine.

Chobits is from CLAMP, a dyke factory for anime. Nix the his, unless that was intentional.

English only in this thread please. kthxbye.

[silan]

Yet one thing about your review bugs the heck outta me. There is no rating. :sweatdrop
A rating would only mar the delicate beauty of the review. Besides, no numerical value could adequately express the wonder and joy that is Chobits.

[Scoot]

Here's one sarcastic review I remember reading and definitely enjoying.

My, my - debating the themes and parallels of Pokemon.

I think I set my sights too low on this one - perhaps an essay on the juxtaposition and montage present in Tekken next?

[silan]

I would love it if anyone else would like to write a sarcastic review - you could do one for an anime you love, written as if you hate it - its much more fun than writing a normal "proper" review!
Alright!!! I take you up on the challenge!!


Sarcastic Student Review: The Violinist of Hameln.

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/1764/hameln1ec8.jpg

Summary:

Hamel is the skilled master of the most rare instrument of all: an ultra-uber-oversized violin. For the sake of viewers, he forsakes life as a concert violinist and takes to the road with his faithful companies for an unforgettable feel-good anime about travelling to lots of places.

Review:

If you thought that the animation on Chobits was cost-saving, then you haven't seen anything yet. The animators of Hameln have done everything they can to get you the most cost-efficient, price-reduced animation that can be found on the market today. In fact, they've taken it to the next level by removing all that unwanted motion and replacing it with a slideshow of colorful images. With this, finally the average viewer can have the time to appreciate the detail and skill that goes into each frame of Hameln. Savor the pleasure of fuzzy storybook images, and pay particular attention to the beauty of the speed lines, which have been revived out of animation purgatory to illustrate the motion of each character of Hameln without anything as unsightly as real action!

Even when there is movement, however, the animators are still looking out for us. By showing those same moving sequences over and over again throughout the course of the series, we are able to catch any details we missed the first time through. And what details they are!

I personally appreciated the chance to gaze lovingly at the character designs, which are some of the more sensible ones I've seen. In what other series does a hero wear kneepads, showing to impressionable kids the importance of proper safety and self-protection?! Also, Hamel's hat itself is one of the true heroes of this series, since it represents how practicality and fashion can be combined into one perfect hatwear design. With a brim that wide, he'll never need an umbrella again. And don't even get me started on Flute. Her design singlehandedly manages to make bowler hats cool again and sexy for both genders; her pom-pom hairstyle teaches poor girls who've battled with uncontrollable frizz the best way to contain huge masses of fluffy hair.

But let's set aside the excellent choices made by the animation staff and take a look at the plot itself. Again, we're lucky. The creators of this series could have spent the effort to develop a plot that easily flowed from plot point to plot point, following Hamel and his compadres to each destination that they visited. Thankfully, they decide instead to eliminate all unimportant plots entirely, saving the audience that much more time. An entire middle section is dropped from sight, taking Hamel and his crew from one location to another in the blink of an eye without explanation... but really, who needs the explanation? I was glad to see that the creators didn't bother to worry about continuity, since the audience is much too smart to be confused by such a sudden shift in location and situation.

Beyond that, the creators also could have followed more closely along with the manga and incorporated the light comedy found in those tomes of graphics and words. Thankfully, they don't. Instead, they suck every last drop of unnecessary humor out of the series, leaving us instead with the bliss of pure despair, perfect for a mood-booster before jumping in front of that train. This series was designed to make you feel better about your life before driving you to end it, so enjoy, and send a grateful last thought the creators' way.

Overall, The Violinist of Hameln is, plain and simple, at the pinnacle of animation and storytelling. All anime being released now can only futilely strive to achieve the beauty of its still shots and the smooth perfection of its bare-bones plotline.

[Scoot]

Silan, you're a genius and never let it be said otherwise - you've inspired me to write another. I'm thinking perhaps Fooly Cooly from the perspective of someone who just. Didn't. Get it.