a short poem wriitenby me

[lilly1992]

I am diffent
how bout you
are you diffent to
but can you stand up and say
i'm diffent in everyway
if you are don't tell
because evryone around you will be still


(small poem i wrote, ireally do feel different than all my friends, bad things keep happing and i feel like i'm all alone in the world but who knows maybe i'm not.)

[Two-twenty]

Man, my index finger is sore from voting these threads one star.

[Tyrdium]

http://img91.imageshack.us/img91/9700/d1ne5yr.jpg

One star'd.

[DarkKanti]

LOL. How is it possible to vote for every option?

[Roark]

I used to think I wasn't alone in the world. Then I realized that I have nothing but perception to verify an external world. So, I nixed the idea of rocks and trees and tiny bugs. Then I thought other minds existed, but realized I only had perceptions to base that off of as well.

Currently, I'm comfortable in my solipsist wanderings of an infinitely vast mental realm. It feels quite wonderful to know that not only am I all alone in the entire universe, no other beings could possibly exist unless my mental faculties give rise to them.

All hail Roark, god of the Universe!

[Javer]

All hail Roark, god of the Universe!

With the silly Arashi avatar.

Alack, colorful gad-about!

EDIT: >_> Shh. No one tell.

[Rove]

With the silly Vash avatar.

Alack, colorful gad-about!
Blasphemy! That's Arashi from ParaKiss. And the sig is a mix of Arashi's head and red-jacket Lupin the III, for your information. No silly Vash there.

[silan]

I am diffent
how bout you
are you diffent to
but can you stand up and say
i'm diffent in everyway
if you are don't tell
because evryone around you will be still

(small poem i wrote, ireally do feel different than all my friends, bad things keep happing and i feel like i'm all alone in the world but who knows maybe i'm not.)
Well, everyone feels like that at some point or another, especially at your age (which, it's kind of terrible to say, I'm judging from your writing style). Try talking about it with your friends. Odds are that they feel the same way, and it'll help all of you to talk about it. Or don't talk to them, whatever you want. If you prefer to talk about things anonymously, there are plenty of websites that can help you, where you can vent all your problems and have people to talk to who are going through the same things. But whatever the case, you're not alone.

Now, on to the cruel stuff (i.e. critique of poem).

Grammatically and spelling-wise, your poem is a mess. First of all, there's no such word as "diffent." You've used the wrong "to" in the third line; it should be "too." It would probably sound better to take out the "but" at the beginning of the fourth line, since you're not really contradicting anything anyway. "Everyway" should be two words. "Everyone" has three e's in it. And last but not least, the very last line makes absolutely no sense. Unless you mean "still" in the noun sense. It's still a bad line, especially since it throws out the tentative rhythm you've got going in the other lines. What exactly are you trying to say in it, that standing up and admitting that you are different will do.... what? That no one will understand? I don't understand.

:suspiciou