Student Review Contest #3 Finals

[Sorrow-kun]

Finals time. Normal drill. Vote for the review you think is most deserving of winning this round. The criteria is fairly self-evident, ie well-written, works well as an analysis/recommendation, etc, etc. As far as satisfying the theme is concerned, because of the nature of the task, the recommendation for voting is, if you've seen the title in question, and you feel that no tsundere typecast exists in a significant role, then don't vote for that review. However, recall that there is no compulsion for the reviewer to discuss tsundere-ism in their review... if they do discuss it, don't be immediately biased towards voting for their review, unless you think the reviewer's discussion of tsundere-ism augments the rest of the piece of writing.

Voting is open for a week. Feedback is encouraged, but my reccommendation is to wait until later in the week before giving it, so as to not influence the voting in a significant way early on. Also, no penalty for contestants voting for themselves... in fact, I encourage it if you think that your review is deserving of your own vote. However, cheating is obviously illegal, and you will be caught. Why someone would cheat in an online contest like this is beyond me, though. You'd have to be a very sad individual.

Good luck to all contestants, and let the voting begin.

[Sorrow-kun]

Let me start by saying, the quality of writing in this round of contest has been extremely good. I'm almost willing to say this round has been by far the most competitive and by far of the highest quality. Good job all, thanks for entering, and, in our eyes, you're all winners... well, except for the people who lose - technically you're losers... actually, that's everyone bar the highest vote getter, isn't it. o_O

Shadowmage. It's obvious why you threatened the top job at the last Proffessor contest. Your review does a perfect job of painting a vivid picture of exactly what to expect from Dokuro-chan and does so with watertight writing. You also manage to pin-point exactly where Dokuro-chan went awry, which shows a great understanding of the anime, as well as an ability to communicate that understanding. Top job.

L-sama. It's a decent review, but it's bogged down by a few instances of clumsy grammar and spelling errors, though nothing minor. Another minor criticism of the review is that, I don't think you justified your grade, given your negativity towards its flaws.

Kuzu. Interesting metaphor, and interesting use of the theme. I'm not sure I'm totally comfortable with the idea of a "tsundere anime", though I can see how it applies to Kanon. I'm also not sure I totally agree that Kanon's opening half can be called "tsun-tsun", but I do agree that it underwent a very sudden and violent change in mood. The review itself is of the level expected of someone of your experience, and, like SM's review, shows a level of understanding of anime which is well communicated. I did think it lacked some of the flair of SM's review, which is why you didn't get my vote.

Scoot. Oh Scoot, you know I love you.

Ninja Realist. Wow, you really went to town on this one. That, however was what your eventual downfall was. It's a decent review, and in any other contest it probably would have ranked highly, but the level of this particular contest was extremely high, and I think you probably lacked that bit of experience and writing flair to keep up with the leaders in this round. The problem with this review was that it was too verbose, and the writing had more bite than flair. Obviously, you got your point across, but sometimes the writing style seemed a bit self-serving (which is admittedly an easy thing to do when reviewing bad anime).

aeroshadown. Loved the metaphor. Very clever commentary on Gonzo. The only problem was that you sometimes got a bit too bogged down in it, but it was obvious you spent a lot of time thinking it through and formulating it. It's a very unique way to look at it, and far more interesting than reading "character development and plot progression were forced". For that, big applause. I'm still of the opinion that, if you were to get a bit more experience writing reviews, you'd have the potential to be among the top anime writers in this community.

However, overall, I just couldn't go past Shadowmage. Good job to everyone, though, and thanks for entering. And congratulations to whoever eventually wins. That's a hell of an achievement, considering the high standard of this contest.

[Scoot]

SK, I was hoping for some constructive criticism... actually... no I wasn't, I just wanted you to say I was brilliant. But constructive criticism was my second choice!

Shadowmage: I thought this was an ambitiously informal review that could have gone so, so wrong - but SM's skill keeps it together. Some parts do have slightly iffy grammar, and I didn't understand this line: "her cute battering ran". Other than that, I can see why you got SK's vote.

LSama: You have improved greatly, but you still have a little way to go, especially with the quality of reviews on offer here. Keep up the good work.

Kuzu-Ryu-Sen: Again, I was slightly at odds with describing the anime itself in terms of tsundere-ness, but one of the joys of these competitions is seeing how people will interpret the theme. You compiled an exhaustive dissemination of the anime, leaving no stone unturned - and finish with a very concise summary.

<I won't critique my own work - I'll leave that to others>

Ninja Realist: I feel that here the off-beat style hasn't come together in quite as successful a way as SM's: you sometimes go a little overboard with the wild metaphors and occasionally that comes off as simply ranting about a show which you obviously hate with abandon. Reining in some of that language would vastly improve this review, and make you come across as more neutral and unbiased.

Aeroshadow: I confess I got a little lost on some of the descriptive tangents you followed in order to inject some life into your review - though you do a neat trick and return to your metaphors later, to add some sparkle to what would be relatively dry passages. My only other criticism would be that some of your paragraphs are hellishly long, and its easy to lose yourself and feel a little intimidated by a huge block of text - split them up into more concise, self-contained easier-to-swallow-parcels and I think your writing would take on a whole new level of readability. Other than that, great job.

[7Raven7]

Critisism? Can do!

It was really close for me as well between the review of Berserk and Kanon.

Actually, I agree, these are all similar caliber and were hard to seperate but, for the others, here are some of the main reasons that nixed them out of my brain final:

SM: Seemed way too brief, not much review material touched upon besides the "great start, bad finish" idea.

L-Sama: Theme seems a bit forced, minor disagrement with characters and "romance" motif.

Ninja: A little too negative (neutrally voiced critisism?), the fact this is the poster child for the theme could have been exploited more

Aero: The parent-child analogy carried a bit too far and a little ambiguous, briefly touches theme, way too long.

-----Brain of Raven finalists-----


For Scoot, the paragraphs are very short and the first three only contribute to the idea or theme of gore. I also would have liked more about the characters and their development and interaction with each other. This would have helped you stay stronger with the theme as well

For Kuzu Ryu Sen I agree almost wholeheartedly with Sorrow's assesment, this review just felt "lighter." And breaking the dreaded 500 word mark (not sure if this is a "rule" as much as it is an estimate or suggestion) you should be able to say more.


For me it was Scoot FTW!

[Sorrow-kun]

SK, I was hoping for some constructive criticism... actually... no I wasn't, I just wanted you to say I was brilliant. But constructive criticism was my second choice!What's there to criticize? You were pretty much flawless. I just thought SM was better.

* Sorrow-kun shields himself

Please, just not the face.

[aeroshadow]

*shrugs*

Thanks, Sorrow-kun and Scoot. Now I feel a little better about being in last place. -_-

...

They were all great reviews, but...

I think I'll go with Scoot's this time; it's nice that he decided to write something more concise than usual.

[L-sama]

Oh! My turn!

-----

Shadowmage: A very nice attempt at such an anime, but you seemed to focus too much on the comedic aspects of the anime.

L-Sama (ME ^_^): I'll let y'all take care of that. I'll be a bystandard (sp?) to my own work.

Kuzu Ryu Sen: Excellent use of the theme! Your summary was to the point and everything seemed to be brought into the light on Kanon. Great job, once again!

Scoot: I like the fact that you kept the paragraphs on the shorter side, but initially, they were too short. Your final paragraph kinda threw me for a loop, but mostly in a good way. Perhaps a two or three sentence closer could've worked. Still, this was a really good review.

Ninja Realist: Good initial summary, but it looked like your personal opinion of the show was getting mixed a little too much with the actual review.

aeroshadow: A nice looking review, but it's just too wordy. Perhaps your two longest paragraphs could be cut in half. Good choice of metaphor as well. Good job.


Overall, the vote went to Kuzu. I felt his review touched everything that needed to be included and then some, and his style of writing complimented the overall finished product. Congrats to all, and I'll see you next time!!

[Ninja Realist]

Ninja Realist: Good initial summary, but it looked like your personal opinion of the show was getting mixed a little too much with the actual review.

Honestly what is a review besides personal opinion? I realize that some people have this notion of objectivity in reviewing, but I think that's just a bunch of hogwash. Sure, you can try to write a review based on what you think the majority of people like, but that's just an educated guess at best, while a review based upon your own opinion, as long as it's honest and well supported, is much more concrete. You can't be objective with a review because there are simply no set guidelines for what makes something good.

Take a show like ARIA. I loved it, but I know other people who simply found it to be completely dull and catatonic. Should I give that show a bad grade simply because I know a lot of people disliked it? No. In MY opinion it was good, so I'm going to give it a good grade. I might MENTION that some people may dislike that, but I won't let that affect it's grade.

The same goes for Love Hina. I know plenty of people liked this show, I even said so in my review, but in MY opinion, I found it to be complete shit, and I'm not going to raise it's grade because a lot of people disagree with me. Reviewing is completely about opinion and I disagree with anyone who says otherwise.

Anyways...

SM: I think that because of your initials, it's fitting that you reviewed Dokuro-Chan. Anyways, nice review with nice, colorful language that was a bit too short, and a bit too confusing for my liking. But I still thought it was pretty good.

L-Sama: I'm sorry, your review is decent, but while it does a good job of reviewing the anime, the content is rather dull and unentertaining. I'm of the opinion that reviews should try to be at least a little bit entertaining, and in my opinion your review just failed in that regard. But in other respects, not a bad review.

Kuzu: Great review with a great running metaphor, though I agree with Sorrow-Kun that the idea of a Tsundere Anime is a bit at odds with the word's definition. Had Scoot not entered his Berserk Review, I would have voted for you.

Scoot: I think what I really like the most about this review is how not a single word is wasted. The great economy with which you use words is astonishing, even more so because I have such trouble with conciseness. This one earned my vote.

Aeroshadow: I just found your running metaphor to be extremely cumbersome and at times a tad confusing. That alone made it hard for me to enjoy this review. I'm not sure if it was the concept or the execution that doomed your review, but you might want to try something a little more simplistic next time.

[Kuzu Ryu Sen]

SM: It's a good review, with all the necessary components, but I just felt that the writing was a bit too detached. Some of the sentences don't seem to flow very well, almost like a point form list expressed in sentence format. Excellent use of very varied and colourful language though.

L-sama: Again, a good review. A few minor grammatical errors (simple ones that can be fixed with a proofread). Like others have said though, it really does fly a little too straight, only targetting the highs/lows and nothing else.

I'll leave mine to the rest of you guys, although I do have to clarify one thing.
I don't think that I established a "tsundere" genre of anime with the review, but rather, just paralleled Kanon's plot evolution to that of a standard "tsundere" character. However, I can see how the term "tsundere anime" would throw everyone off. As for flair, yeah... I suck at creative writing, so I write my reviews with a touch of formal essay in them. It's all I really know how to do. ^.^

Scoot: I don't really know what to say. On the one hand, I've never been fond of three sentence paragraphs... but on the other, every single word has meaning, and the paragraph layout just looks so damn right. Likewise, one half of my brain is saying maybe a little more creativity (a little wordplay and such) would make a great review into a perfect one, and the other half is saying that it would just ruin the feel.

Realist: Good review, but maybe a little overdone with the hyperbole. Some of the sentences are a little repetitive as well. For example:

"Romantic Comedies breed like rabbits. Every Romantic Comedy is not a unique creative work but is rather an offspring of the Romantic Comedies that came before it(and these too are no more than the spawn of their predecessors)."

Consider: Romantic comedies, much like rabbits, are not only numerous, but also just the product of a mixture of their predecessors... or something like that.

If you can condense the review yet maintain the flavour of the writing, it'll be an excellent piece.

Aeroshadow: Yeah... the underlying metaphor didn't really work for me, especially since you didn't mention the source of the potential (after all, not every anime is equal at birth). The writing is good though, it's just the major theme that drags an otherwise great piece down.

And as a last note, geez, this is going down to the wire.

[L-sama]

Ninja, I didn't mean to strike a chord with you. I was just trying to agree with what Scoot had said earlier in this thread about making the review more unbiased. I really am sorry if it came off as otherwise.

[Ninja Realist]

Ninja, I didn't mean to strike a chord with you. I was just trying to agree with what Scoot had said earlier in this thread about making the review more unbiased. I really am sorry if it came off as otherwise.

No it didn't strike a chord with me. You are welcome to have that opinion, I just happen to have the exact opposite opinion. That's all.

[aeroshadow]

Honestly what is a review besides personal opinion? I realize that some people have this notion of objectivity in reviewing, but I think that's just a bunch of hogwash. Sure, you can try to write a review based on what you think the majority of people like, but that's just an educated guess at best, while a review based upon your own opinion, as long as it's honest and well supported, is much more concrete. You can't be objective with a review because there are simply no set guidelines for what makes something good.

Take a show like ARIA. I loved it, but I know other people who simply found it to be completely dull and catatonic. Should I give that show a bad grade simply because I know a lot of people disliked it? No. In MY opinion it was good, so I'm going to give it a good grade. I might MENTION that some people may dislike that, but I won't let that affect it's grade.

The same goes for Love Hina. I know plenty of people liked this show, I even said so in my review, but in MY opinion, I found it to be complete shit, and I'm not going to raise it's grade because a lot of people disagree with me. Reviewing is completely about opinion and I disagree with anyone who says otherwise.I definitely agree. IMO, an honest review that doesn't try to get all objective is generally much more useful to me, as well. That way, I can get a feel of the reviewer's taste and through that, get a better idea of whatever he's trying to analyze.

[Mouse]

Shadowmage: Your review feels unfinished. You really only discussed the plot, which is arguably the most important element, but what about everything else? Where’s this week’s theme? Also, I have no idea where you were going with the first sentence of your review. Yes, cyanide, arsenic, and sulfuric acid will kill me, but where are you going with that in relation to the anime? What is there is well written and successfully conveys your points, but it’s a job only half done.

L-Sama: Watch the typos. I have to agree with Sorrow-Kun that I don’t think your grade matches your criticisms. Only your first paragraph really touches on your positives while the rest focuses on the negatives. Of course, what’s in a grade? It’s the review that matters, but you do need to justify everything—good or bad. Also, you focused a bit too heavily on only one element of the anime: the characters San and Ashitaka. You addressed animation nicely, but what about other character relationships, or sound (music, seiyuu), or even the main plot—which in my opinion is not the love story.

Kuzu: Well-rounded review, touching on all the important elements viewers need to know. Also, I think you incorporated this week’s theme better than anyone else. Improvements could be made, however, to sentence structure (or word placement). That’s more or less a style issue, but it could help to improve your review by tightening and simplifying. It’s as you said, you write in formal essay mode.

Scoot: Egggcellent. Encompasses the characters, the story, the blood and gore, animation, etc. All the important elements that viewers would need to know to get an idea about Berserk were covered. My one bother is as Kuzu mentioned: the wording. Because of it you lost me at a few points which either didn’t make sense or weren’t fully developed.

Realist: Humorous. Since I’m reading these rather late I was at first daunted by the length but once I began, I found it interesting and an enjoyable read. It can be simplified, however, as it reads more like a conversation with a friend than a review. I also see the point others were making about “too much opinion.” That is easily rectified by substantiating your opinion with examples. For instance, identify the more original romantic comedies you feel Love Hina has copied, and their characters, instead of generalizing. Also, some minor typos here and there.

Aeroshadow: Basically what Scoot said word for word. Your review just didn’t work for me at all with the whole parent metaphor. Even after reading it I still have no idea what Last Exile is about or if it’s something I'll enjoy watching. In the end reviews are not about creativity. They’re about telling people the good and bad, and helping them to decide to watch or not.

This was tough to pick since I couldn't decide between Kuzu and Scoot. In the end I decided to vote for Kuzu because I do feel he incorporated this week's theme best. (I think I'm the tiebreaker too!)

[Two-twenty]

Shadowmage: You've got a great writing style and I would've voted for yours if it was just fleshed out a little more. Far too short!

L-sama: I won't reiterate what's already been said, but just to add, I think San as a tsundere character wasn't all that convincing. She stays pretty tough the whole way through. I'm sure there are better examples of the theme out there. Anyways, hang in there, you're improving!

Kuzu: I was this close to voting for yours. There's nothing wrong with your incredibly thorough, formal essay style. It makes for a very convincing review. But yeah, another review just beat you out in my books for creative style. Did I mention it was thorough though? Damn!

Scoot: I think this has the same problem as your Hellsing review. Again it reads more like a bullet point list rather than an article. In terms of informing the reader, it does well, but I think the points you made could stand to be extrapolated a little more to make it a bit more of an intersting read.

Besides, synergy was the last contest's theme, silly. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v486/Twotwenty/v.gif

Ninja Realist: I voted for yours. You were borderlining rant-mode (perhaps insulting the fans was going a bit far) but yours had more of a voice than any of the others. Say I was to match the name to the review, I'd be able to tell yours immediatly. Going "to town" on a bad anime isn't very hard but you justified yourself well in a style that was far more entertaining than any of the others.

Aeroshadow: What? The metaphor. Seriously. What? :p

[Scoot]

*shakes fist at mouse* no xmas card for you, sir!

[Sorrow-kun]

Holy shit that was close. Congratulations Kuzu, the contest is now in your hands. The rest of you, bow your heads in shame.

[Kuzu Ryu Sen]

One vote 157 minutes from the end... wow.

So er... what's this secret prize thing... or do I dare to ask?

[Sorrow-kun]

You get the recently released English translation patch for the Wind ~A Breath of Heart~ visual novel.

Seriously, I originally intended to make a wallpaper featuring tsundere characters, but I just haven't had the time. Sorry. Accept this random ARIA image instead?

http://img363.imageshack.us/img363/2111/11501598980585dj.th.jpg (http://img363.imageshack.us/img363/2111/11501598980585dj.jpg)

I will do something up, I just have to find the damn time in which to do so.

[Mouse]

*shakes fist at mouse* no xmas card for you, sir!
Hah, sorry. :P It was really tough but I needed a deciding factor. :/

If it helps I think you're an excellent writer and reviewer (the best here! shh). ^.~

P.S. That's mam to you!

Edit: Durrr... "ma'am." XD

[Scoot]

No, doesn't help - but if it helps you, my xmas cards are pretty useless anyway, ma'am ;)

This was a pretty experimental review for me, I was trying for a very sparse, to-the-point style and I'm still getting used to it. A big thankyou to those who voted for me - on to the next!