Harvest Moon [Poem]

[Arc]

Well, this was a poem done a long time ago and I thought I would post it on here to get some feedback. So, here it is:

Harvest Moon

Under the harvest moon
The lone wolf howls
Chasing after his prey.

Under the harvest moon
The crickets wake and
Begin their night-long chorus.

Under the harvest moon
The crisp, cool breeze
Nudges against the trees.

Under the harvest moon
A child lies on the grass
Gazing at the black, starry sky.

If it sucks, don't be surprised. :P

[chaste Angel]

well, try to have some rhymes to make those witty lines sound good. Wow!... number of syllables are just playing with consecutive numbers, nice work.

for real, i havent yet played harvest moon, so... cant tell anything about the poem content. thats all.

~Fraye

[Arc]

It's not actually about the game, it's just the phrase I decided to use. :P

Thanks for the comments, too. :)

[chaste Angel]

Is that so? ~_~

Sorry for my mistake.

But then, is that moon a full or a cresent one? Nothing really counts, I am just trying to view the scene you are trying to paint with those letters. A picture you have imagined yourself.

~Fraye

[Sakito]

Well, this was a poem done a long time ago and I thought I would post it on here to get some feedback. So, here it is:

Harvest Moon

Under the harvest moon
The lone wolf howls
Chasing his prey gently

Under the harvest moon
The crickets wake and
Begin their night-long chorus.

Under the harvest moon
The air is cool and crisp
The night breeze nudges the trees leaves.

Under the harvest moon
A child lies on the grass
Gazing at the black, starry sky.

If it sucks, don't be surprised. :P


Well lets see here you are off to a really good start for poetry and no it doesn't suck what so ever, it just needs to be tweeked. I did a little editing inside of the poem its self. Keep working on it and it will be fine.


~Sakito~