aoi_n_asul
04-06-2006, 06:06 AM
thanks to the forum i managed to get off my lazy @$$ and wrote something for a change.
i finally finished this story after a year or so. it has undergone a lot of revisions and changes but i still think it needs changes. i would really appreciate your comments and suggestions.
this one is quite long ^^v and it is kind of cheesy and mushy. needs a lot of improvement too, if i think about it.
He said, she said
(tentative title)
This was his brother’s song. His fingers played out the gentle, rolling melody his brother composed when he was still alive. It conjured up many of his memories, becoming both a burden and a blessing at the same time. It reminded him of who his brother was, of his kindness and selflessness. It also became the comfort he desperately needed the day his brother died. And now, it was his shield against the woman he had come to know, the woman who knew his guilt, his vulnerability and sorrow, but the one who must never know of his love.
She was standing by the window, with a faraway look in her eyes as the sun caused shadows to dance around her pretty face. She never thought of herself as pretty; he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. She was beautiful – brown eyes, long lashes and cherry lips – but even more beautiful was her grace, her smile, her laughter and her voice that took his breath away everytime he saw her. He stole another look, held his breath in wonder and in awe, then forcefully reminded himself to keep playing.
“James, I’d like to talk to you about something.”
Even though she had been there for quite a while, her voice still caught him by surprise. She had turned to face him, her gaze unflinching, steady and never faltering. Her eyes were mellow and sad, yet he sensed her excitement as her cheeks turned pink.
“What is it?” Concentrate. Play. Don’t stare. For Christ’s sake don’t stare. Even from a distance, he was already captivated under her spell. She was looking at him thoughtfully, one slender hand twirling her pearl necklace, looking hesitant and gorgeous. Then, she smiled at him. Damn, damn, damn!
“I’m not sure if I should say it.”
“Of course you should.” Pause “Tell me.”
“I’ve met someone.”
His finger slipped on the wrong key. His mistake was so abrupt and unexpected that she stopped and looked at him in surprise. Shit. Swallowing hard, he continued playing. After a moment’s silence, all he could manage was a tight, monosyllabic “Oh.”
“I’ve been seeing him for quite a while..” she said, her voice trailing off as she averted her gaze.
“And?” he asked, fighting the urge to keep his voice casual and nonchalant.
“But he doesn’t know it yet. I’m afraid to tell him. I like him James.” She stared meaningfully at him “I’d like to know what you think.” Concerned at his sudden silence and frozen stare, she drew closer, touched his shoulder and said “James? Are you alright?”
He was not alright, he was not OK. He could not even begin to describe what he was feeling. It was as if the fates were conspiring against him. This hurt way too much. But he sensed her joy and saw her eyes. He would not let her see how much her news troubled and tormented him. He would be happy for her and allow her this chance for happiness.
“That’s great. I’m glad,” he heard himself say, in an abnormally high voice.
For some unknown reason, she blushed. Then, remembering something, she sighed.
“It’s been quite a while since Sean died…”
Four years to be exact. Four long years of silence, guilt and pain. It took Sean’s death and four years for him to pull himself together. He was now on his junior year in college (on a scholarship, which was really saying something), his grades above average and his school record clean.
“I know,” he said, cutting her in mid-sentence. As if he needed reminding about Sean. He didn’t want to hear the rest of her words. It was too painful. He tried to drown out her words with the piano but stronger still were the memories he would rather forget. Inside his troubled mind, he was screaming. First Sean, now him! But I saw you first…I loved you first. I still do. Have you ever forgiven me for what I did to Sean??
He first saw her in school as he waited for Sean to finish his project. From the very first moment, he knew he loved her, loved the way she walked, smiled. Sean, upin arriving, commented “Who’d you meet??”
“What?”
“You’re red as an apple! C’mon, give!!” Sean teased, grabbing his head and ruffling his hair.
He felt himself blush even more and he forcefully yanked himself away from Sean, stalking off angrily. He never revealed his feelings to his brother, less he suffer his brother’s endless taunts and laughter. He contented himself with staring at her everytime he had the chance and stalking her (discreetly) when he could.
“Denise?” So that was her name.
“Yeah. She’s a great girl” His classmate looked at him closely. “Would you like to meet her?”
He turned beet red. “No. Thanks.”
Denise, Denise, Denise. Pictures, drawings – her pictures, her drawings – filled every available page of his notebooks. He liked her, liked her a lot. He was her most ardent suitor (she had quite a number), even if he never approached her. No over loved her as much as he did. His time at home was taken up by dreams and thoughts of her. He lagged behind in school, failed to do his requirements, was being cheated by Sean out of their weekly allowance, being reprimanded by his parents everyday, sprained his ankle and missed basketball yet none of these seemed to matter. He was happier than he ever felt before, and he constantly had, plastered on his face, what Sean described as a ‘dumb, stupid smile.’
Maybe I should try my luck. I can’t be that bad an option. He stared at his reflection and after objectively inspecting his features, he as matter-of-factly concluded that he was a decent looking bloke. The opportunity never came. Either he was too late or it was never for him. Maybe it was meant for someone else – someone like Sean.
“James, I’d like you to meet Denise” Sean said, a smile lighting up his features. And true enough, she was with him, very much in love. His brother, a serious guy, had a goofy, love-sick smile on his face.
“You guys are a lovely couple” he said with difficulty but truthfully. They were perfect. Who was he to go between them? After all the things and sacrifices Sean did for him, he could not bear the thought of being the one responsible for destroying Sean’s happiness.
Afraid that Sean would eventually learn of his feelings, he began to pull away. He began to rebel, in order to numb out his feelings. He now recalled the hurt and confusion on Sean’s face everytime he talked back. He failed subject after subject, started to drink and smoke, drifting away from Sean.
“I don’t know what’s happened to him, Denise.”
“He hates you. I don’t know why you tolerate him.”
“Trust me, he’s a good kid.”
“He’s jealous.”
“Jealous? Him? No. Someone must have done something to him… I’ll talk to him tonight.”
He’ll never forget that night. Sean’s efforts to talk to him backfired and he left home angry and drunk. Foolish and irrational, it was inevitable that he would get in trouble. Sean came for him just as he was about to go under the cruel blows from the local thugs at the bar. Sean never left him, even as the fists came and the blows fell. Sean died, cradling his head protectively, blood staining his chest, where a knife had eventually found its mark. Sean died – and it was all his fault.
Nobody blamed him but he knew that inside fingers were pointed at him. He was the one who killed Sean. It was an unbearable sin, a sin that could never be atoned.
Her eyes held nothing but contempt for him. Yet, as she saw him each day, carrying with him his own personal hell, she felt her anger ebb away. His eyes, full of pain, could never look straight into hers, afraid to see reproach. He stood by, waiting, as he had always had.
She found comfort in him, and together they mourned. Not a single day passed without her crying in his arms, and he fell in love with her all over again. But then a love between was now impossible and so he stood by her silently, yearning for her but never touching, whispering words of love that she can never hear, loving her even from a distance.
And now this.
“I don’t care!” he screamed, missing another key.
She stopped and stared as he struggled to compose himself.
“I’m sorry” he said, continuing with the music “truly, I’m glad. You should tell him your feelings.”
“James..”
“Just do it OK!?” He finally broke down. “ I really wish you happiness, but you didn’t have to look that far to find a man who’ll love you and care for you, a man who would rather keep his silence than to compromise your happiness,” he choked, not minding the piano anymore and the fact that he was spilling all his secrets.
Her eyes slowly filled with tears. She walked over to him and gently touched his face. He stiffened.
“Can’t you see?” she implored
“What can’t I see??” he said angrily. “You love someone else what can I do? It’s your choice.”
“James...please..”
“Go to him then! Tell him how you feel and be happy. Go, get married, have kids, forget me, forget Sean…”
“I can’t.”
He snorted in disbelief. She flushed and with her hands on her hips faced him.
“How dare you?! I loved Sean. Do you know how difficult this has been for me? I don’t know what to do. Sean will always be in my heart and my memories. I will always love him. And that’s what makes it so hard. Do you think what I fell is easy for me? Some would say it’s dishonorable, wrong and unthinkable that after these years that I—“ she stopped, her features softening as she sat next to him, gently taking his face in her hands.
“—that I have fallen in love with Sean’s brother.”
Time stood still for him. He didn’t notice anything else and he didn’t care. All he wanted was for this moment to last for as long as it could, their faces inches apart, her warm breath fanning his face, her gentle hands pressing against his skin.
“James, I love you. And I need you so much,” she finally said, crying openly.
“But you hate me…”
“I did. I blamed you for taking him away from me. I was even jealous of you. All Sean talked about was you, how you were such a smart kid, how worried and how proud he was of you. I just couldn’t see it yet. I didn’t know what I felt then. I chose to hate you."
She touched the scar on his upper lip, the scar the reminded him everyday of that fateful night.
“But I found comfort in you. You shared my pain and endured a greater loss than I’d ever know. You were very open but you never revealed anything. Then, I saw your eyes. Sean’s eyes. Eyes full of sorrow and hurt. And you were so kind, so wonderful. You helped me learn forgiveness and you gave me another reason to smile. You became my life. I hid my feelings from you for as long as I could, afraid of what you would think of me. You never really revealed what you felt for me. I’m not afraid anymore. I love you.”
He finally looked into her eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell you the same thing. I loved you, even before Sean did. I wanted you to be happy. I love you. I still do.”
She took her face into her hands, gently pulling him to her, softly kissing him, nice and long. When their lips finally parted, she was breathless. He simply smiled. They sat together in silence for a long time. He held her tight, hardly able to believe that she was really his. Then a though struck him.
“You think Sean’s OK with this?” he blurted out nervously.
She laughed. “James, you are so clueless. He knew.”
“What?”
“Your feelings. I think he did. Before he died he told me to look after you,” she said, suddenly turning pink “He said that I held your heart. Or something like that.”
“Bastard,” he said, laughing goof-naturedly. For the first time since Sean died, he felt lighter and free. Thanks, Sean.
“James?”
“Hmmm?”
“Sean’s song. You’re playing it all wrong.”
He stared as she took his hands in hers. Placing them on the keys, she said “He never meant for it to be played alone. We’re supposed to play it together.”
that's it. looong one.
i finally finished this story after a year or so. it has undergone a lot of revisions and changes but i still think it needs changes. i would really appreciate your comments and suggestions.
this one is quite long ^^v and it is kind of cheesy and mushy. needs a lot of improvement too, if i think about it.
He said, she said
(tentative title)
This was his brother’s song. His fingers played out the gentle, rolling melody his brother composed when he was still alive. It conjured up many of his memories, becoming both a burden and a blessing at the same time. It reminded him of who his brother was, of his kindness and selflessness. It also became the comfort he desperately needed the day his brother died. And now, it was his shield against the woman he had come to know, the woman who knew his guilt, his vulnerability and sorrow, but the one who must never know of his love.
She was standing by the window, with a faraway look in her eyes as the sun caused shadows to dance around her pretty face. She never thought of herself as pretty; he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. She was beautiful – brown eyes, long lashes and cherry lips – but even more beautiful was her grace, her smile, her laughter and her voice that took his breath away everytime he saw her. He stole another look, held his breath in wonder and in awe, then forcefully reminded himself to keep playing.
“James, I’d like to talk to you about something.”
Even though she had been there for quite a while, her voice still caught him by surprise. She had turned to face him, her gaze unflinching, steady and never faltering. Her eyes were mellow and sad, yet he sensed her excitement as her cheeks turned pink.
“What is it?” Concentrate. Play. Don’t stare. For Christ’s sake don’t stare. Even from a distance, he was already captivated under her spell. She was looking at him thoughtfully, one slender hand twirling her pearl necklace, looking hesitant and gorgeous. Then, she smiled at him. Damn, damn, damn!
“I’m not sure if I should say it.”
“Of course you should.” Pause “Tell me.”
“I’ve met someone.”
His finger slipped on the wrong key. His mistake was so abrupt and unexpected that she stopped and looked at him in surprise. Shit. Swallowing hard, he continued playing. After a moment’s silence, all he could manage was a tight, monosyllabic “Oh.”
“I’ve been seeing him for quite a while..” she said, her voice trailing off as she averted her gaze.
“And?” he asked, fighting the urge to keep his voice casual and nonchalant.
“But he doesn’t know it yet. I’m afraid to tell him. I like him James.” She stared meaningfully at him “I’d like to know what you think.” Concerned at his sudden silence and frozen stare, she drew closer, touched his shoulder and said “James? Are you alright?”
He was not alright, he was not OK. He could not even begin to describe what he was feeling. It was as if the fates were conspiring against him. This hurt way too much. But he sensed her joy and saw her eyes. He would not let her see how much her news troubled and tormented him. He would be happy for her and allow her this chance for happiness.
“That’s great. I’m glad,” he heard himself say, in an abnormally high voice.
For some unknown reason, she blushed. Then, remembering something, she sighed.
“It’s been quite a while since Sean died…”
Four years to be exact. Four long years of silence, guilt and pain. It took Sean’s death and four years for him to pull himself together. He was now on his junior year in college (on a scholarship, which was really saying something), his grades above average and his school record clean.
“I know,” he said, cutting her in mid-sentence. As if he needed reminding about Sean. He didn’t want to hear the rest of her words. It was too painful. He tried to drown out her words with the piano but stronger still were the memories he would rather forget. Inside his troubled mind, he was screaming. First Sean, now him! But I saw you first…I loved you first. I still do. Have you ever forgiven me for what I did to Sean??
He first saw her in school as he waited for Sean to finish his project. From the very first moment, he knew he loved her, loved the way she walked, smiled. Sean, upin arriving, commented “Who’d you meet??”
“What?”
“You’re red as an apple! C’mon, give!!” Sean teased, grabbing his head and ruffling his hair.
He felt himself blush even more and he forcefully yanked himself away from Sean, stalking off angrily. He never revealed his feelings to his brother, less he suffer his brother’s endless taunts and laughter. He contented himself with staring at her everytime he had the chance and stalking her (discreetly) when he could.
“Denise?” So that was her name.
“Yeah. She’s a great girl” His classmate looked at him closely. “Would you like to meet her?”
He turned beet red. “No. Thanks.”
Denise, Denise, Denise. Pictures, drawings – her pictures, her drawings – filled every available page of his notebooks. He liked her, liked her a lot. He was her most ardent suitor (she had quite a number), even if he never approached her. No over loved her as much as he did. His time at home was taken up by dreams and thoughts of her. He lagged behind in school, failed to do his requirements, was being cheated by Sean out of their weekly allowance, being reprimanded by his parents everyday, sprained his ankle and missed basketball yet none of these seemed to matter. He was happier than he ever felt before, and he constantly had, plastered on his face, what Sean described as a ‘dumb, stupid smile.’
Maybe I should try my luck. I can’t be that bad an option. He stared at his reflection and after objectively inspecting his features, he as matter-of-factly concluded that he was a decent looking bloke. The opportunity never came. Either he was too late or it was never for him. Maybe it was meant for someone else – someone like Sean.
“James, I’d like you to meet Denise” Sean said, a smile lighting up his features. And true enough, she was with him, very much in love. His brother, a serious guy, had a goofy, love-sick smile on his face.
“You guys are a lovely couple” he said with difficulty but truthfully. They were perfect. Who was he to go between them? After all the things and sacrifices Sean did for him, he could not bear the thought of being the one responsible for destroying Sean’s happiness.
Afraid that Sean would eventually learn of his feelings, he began to pull away. He began to rebel, in order to numb out his feelings. He now recalled the hurt and confusion on Sean’s face everytime he talked back. He failed subject after subject, started to drink and smoke, drifting away from Sean.
“I don’t know what’s happened to him, Denise.”
“He hates you. I don’t know why you tolerate him.”
“Trust me, he’s a good kid.”
“He’s jealous.”
“Jealous? Him? No. Someone must have done something to him… I’ll talk to him tonight.”
He’ll never forget that night. Sean’s efforts to talk to him backfired and he left home angry and drunk. Foolish and irrational, it was inevitable that he would get in trouble. Sean came for him just as he was about to go under the cruel blows from the local thugs at the bar. Sean never left him, even as the fists came and the blows fell. Sean died, cradling his head protectively, blood staining his chest, where a knife had eventually found its mark. Sean died – and it was all his fault.
Nobody blamed him but he knew that inside fingers were pointed at him. He was the one who killed Sean. It was an unbearable sin, a sin that could never be atoned.
Her eyes held nothing but contempt for him. Yet, as she saw him each day, carrying with him his own personal hell, she felt her anger ebb away. His eyes, full of pain, could never look straight into hers, afraid to see reproach. He stood by, waiting, as he had always had.
She found comfort in him, and together they mourned. Not a single day passed without her crying in his arms, and he fell in love with her all over again. But then a love between was now impossible and so he stood by her silently, yearning for her but never touching, whispering words of love that she can never hear, loving her even from a distance.
And now this.
“I don’t care!” he screamed, missing another key.
She stopped and stared as he struggled to compose himself.
“I’m sorry” he said, continuing with the music “truly, I’m glad. You should tell him your feelings.”
“James..”
“Just do it OK!?” He finally broke down. “ I really wish you happiness, but you didn’t have to look that far to find a man who’ll love you and care for you, a man who would rather keep his silence than to compromise your happiness,” he choked, not minding the piano anymore and the fact that he was spilling all his secrets.
Her eyes slowly filled with tears. She walked over to him and gently touched his face. He stiffened.
“Can’t you see?” she implored
“What can’t I see??” he said angrily. “You love someone else what can I do? It’s your choice.”
“James...please..”
“Go to him then! Tell him how you feel and be happy. Go, get married, have kids, forget me, forget Sean…”
“I can’t.”
He snorted in disbelief. She flushed and with her hands on her hips faced him.
“How dare you?! I loved Sean. Do you know how difficult this has been for me? I don’t know what to do. Sean will always be in my heart and my memories. I will always love him. And that’s what makes it so hard. Do you think what I fell is easy for me? Some would say it’s dishonorable, wrong and unthinkable that after these years that I—“ she stopped, her features softening as she sat next to him, gently taking his face in her hands.
“—that I have fallen in love with Sean’s brother.”
Time stood still for him. He didn’t notice anything else and he didn’t care. All he wanted was for this moment to last for as long as it could, their faces inches apart, her warm breath fanning his face, her gentle hands pressing against his skin.
“James, I love you. And I need you so much,” she finally said, crying openly.
“But you hate me…”
“I did. I blamed you for taking him away from me. I was even jealous of you. All Sean talked about was you, how you were such a smart kid, how worried and how proud he was of you. I just couldn’t see it yet. I didn’t know what I felt then. I chose to hate you."
She touched the scar on his upper lip, the scar the reminded him everyday of that fateful night.
“But I found comfort in you. You shared my pain and endured a greater loss than I’d ever know. You were very open but you never revealed anything. Then, I saw your eyes. Sean’s eyes. Eyes full of sorrow and hurt. And you were so kind, so wonderful. You helped me learn forgiveness and you gave me another reason to smile. You became my life. I hid my feelings from you for as long as I could, afraid of what you would think of me. You never really revealed what you felt for me. I’m not afraid anymore. I love you.”
He finally looked into her eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell you the same thing. I loved you, even before Sean did. I wanted you to be happy. I love you. I still do.”
She took her face into her hands, gently pulling him to her, softly kissing him, nice and long. When their lips finally parted, she was breathless. He simply smiled. They sat together in silence for a long time. He held her tight, hardly able to believe that she was really his. Then a though struck him.
“You think Sean’s OK with this?” he blurted out nervously.
She laughed. “James, you are so clueless. He knew.”
“What?”
“Your feelings. I think he did. Before he died he told me to look after you,” she said, suddenly turning pink “He said that I held your heart. Or something like that.”
“Bastard,” he said, laughing goof-naturedly. For the first time since Sean died, he felt lighter and free. Thanks, Sean.
“James?”
“Hmmm?”
“Sean’s song. You’re playing it all wrong.”
He stared as she took his hands in hers. Placing them on the keys, she said “He never meant for it to be played alone. We’re supposed to play it together.”
that's it. looong one.